Momentary lapse - & after effects !

Thick black rain clouds and sad depressed faces,
i see all these things at many different places,
i once was happy beaming with pride,
but the love taken away from me lessened my stride,
im not a happy person, but my feelings i do hide,
lifes a b*tch and i guess we all just have to stay for the ride

i'm sorry im not perfect and that i dont live to be,
all of the expectations you set so high for me,
together we were happy, or were we happy at all,
i know that you said that you were but if that was true,
what happened to make us fall.
why did it have to end? i dont think i can handle you as just a friend

something tells me i would have never known love, if i had never known you.
something tells me i would have never known worst pain,if i had never loved you.

i hate how we don't talk for weeks
but then all of a sudden you talk to
me again. & as if you never broke my heart..
i slowly start falling for you... all over again
I hate how vulnerable i get .
inspite of hating u . i cant seem to stop loving u !
through all that i ve done for you, i never expected any return.
Cos ur love , care n concern was always there .
i thought you could make my pain go away,somehow youve only made it even worse.
With u i learnt how i could be a better person
cos of u now i cant seem to trust any relation .its all fake .

i cant stand here and be walked all over.

its hard enough being friends
but your not making it easy to stay that way
we arent meant to be i ve realized it now.
i have to let you go,its mission impossible
but i cant keep getting hurt like this.
its a feeling indescribable, i love you yet hate you at the same moment.
Hurt is a understatement.
i cant let go, no i cant let go of you.
your holding me back without even trying to.
i cant let go i can move on from the past
without lifting a finger your holding me back.
Now that it's all said and done,
I can't believe you were the one
To build me up and tear me down

sometimes i wish i never met you
all these obstacles and heartaches wouldn't exist
but yet i dont think i would be this way without you.
do u know what its like to be me?
to go thru sumthing not everyone can see?
all the pain your putting me through
will just make me stronger.

i just want u to know somethings in life are always goin to be there - even if u dont want to accept it , acknowledge it (ill love u always ),
or people change with time its me who doesnt catch up to their expectation.
in da past i have had a far too many reasons to feel low da unmet meetings, da unkept promises for all small thgs u yelled @ deep inside i was happy not hurt cos u bothered to warn me n were always concerned .., tht dint hold me from u cos somewhr i still cld see & feel ur love .The words u said this time keep ringin in my head (u call it rubbish & momentary lapse) ..somehow tht doesnt feel like comin from the person i knew.
Its not ego or attitude i have right now ,i m simply in shock and hurt .
in time it will heal all wounds do ..a scar it will leave cos this one runs deep !
For all that has happened i m at fault too , knowing how Sorry u r wld it make it difference whether i acknowledge tht or not , @ the end v still r where v left things off , u live in ur world n i m abandoned yet again ! my only companion my shadow !!

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