Digital Mum, while a traditional approach ;)
"Aa kevu che beta" ! "saari che ne"?
Mom asks her beta after emailing a girl’s color-photo picked out from her well networked contacts. This is one of the first questions a concerned mom would ask her “available” beta when she feels her nanna-munna-laadla beta has finally “come-of-age” for marriage purposes. She, even before asking her beta’s opinion, would first Call all the relatives distant and far could be sister in laws, cousin's maternal uncle's, second son's wife's mausi ka Motu Bhai ka dewar ka biwi ka Mom (that’s first family by the way) and also advertise his profile in all of those community matrimonial circle magazines and collect profiles & photos of available girls around. Then, Based on offline discussion one of the many mummy-beta talks and also her perception of the prospective Bahu traits, looks and screening she’d hand-pick a few of these profiles. Once this homework is done she’d introduce the topic of marriage to his son with one of these photos. Of courses this is always preceded with the announcements of other shaadi's happening in the community and city and the nearest relative as quoted above.
Typically, she thinks her “beta” would not allow her proceed with the pre-marriage tasks as she feels he’d be “very-happy” being single and would even want to concentrate more on his “career” before thinking about settling down. So this innocent mom would first get the photos and then try to “entice” her beta with these photos. While our mom is busy with these pre-marriage tasks, seldom she knows about the latent thoughts running on in her “naive-beta’s-gullible-mind”. As we know, He would typically be obsessed with “Post-marriage” tasks. And a typical 2 tier city born settled in metro “naive-beta” would have just had about few flirtations, 3-5 acceptances, no dates (duh who dates nowadays its such a waste of time n energy), would rather, hook up with my girl) and 5 broken-heart experiences until now (to my knowledge).And his mom knows none of these stories (OK except for one).
After all that’s done, Beta would realize his inability to convince parents about his choice, so he waits for his dear "Mummy" to start the bride hunt.
He’d have cursed his mother silently for atleast 2 years for not starting looking for him. But after the long wait when his mom pokes a photograph of a pretty looking lady on to his face and asks the question, he’d play a
A typical beta would never admit that he wants to marry. Rather he creates a scenario where he gives out the message that he is agreeing to the marriage only under the immense PRESSURE put on him by his parents. All this while parents do their part of finding a house , setting it up , Mummy dear moves in with Beta , to help speed up the shaadi circus, after much dilly dally with prospective profiles of Brides (by now the Beta is trained to diligently reply to all mails on matrimonial queries).
Here is how it goes:
Let the time now be
“HOW MANY TIMES I HAVE TOLD NOT TO
At
“Oh..Mummy..i need just some more time before I marry..u see..I am working.its a new job ..i need to be focused ..Wait for 2-3 months...”
And when at
“If you all want me to marry, then...I needed some more time…but. i’ll agree..” “There is nothing to say no to” go ahead..What else can i do?”
Then comes the “formally-seeing-the-girl” part.
Beta, accompanied by his dad & mom, elder sister of mom and husband goes to see the girl. On the way in the car our beta would have, by now, gauged the best of features of the girl like a super-intelligent computer. Based on that single photograph of the girl he has seen, our beta would have fantasized the girl in atleast three different dresses, hair-styles and fashions. They arrive and behold the girls family : dad , mom ,maternal uncle ,elder sister and her husband, maternal aunt her husband , granny , grandpa et all .And finally when the girl’s dad introduces his daughter, Beta realizes that the photo he’s seen was atleast 2 years old ! And like the
By the time he could re-estimate his calculations, imaginations and have another round of self-satisfaction-survey (typically a profile matching exercise where he’d see if the earlier projected estimate could bare-estimated to fit with actual figure) , his dad & her dad have realized that they have a common close friend. His Mom & her mom have just realized that MOM #1′s 2nd cousin’s husband’s sister was married to Mom #2′s sister-in-law’s brother-in-law. Also the Girl’s Naani was the first to recollect the family name of our Beta’s Naana. Now it’s a real dead-lock –> Even if Beta wants to get off this marriage, he cannot. And he has to again “yield” to “Pressure” – This time literally.
After consulting with all his well-wishers, our BETAJI finally assures himself that 34-32-36 with a Job in
Finally, they both start sending emails and texts msgs .Decide to start dating. And he accepts the fact that Not everyone can be Rani Mukerji. There are other heroines too in
After-all, according to his imaginations, except for the Not Rani part, everything else about her (personality, Body Lang, pomp, attitude) is something “you cant say no to” (read : of course YES) .
During his first date He realizes that her English is accented & Body Language is bad (personality test failed). And she realizes that he doesn’t take bath.
During the second date he realizes that she wears only sarees or salwar-kameez. (fashionista test failed). And she realizes that he doesn’t know what chivalry means.
During the third date he realizes that she eats only vegetarian & would never visit a Pub or bar. And she realizes that he’s not a first-timer with women.(women have the knack).
During the fourth date he realizes that she can never miss a Friday fast or a Monday temple visit. And she realizes that He can never miss his office party at a newly launched club in town, addiction to cell fones or his friends or even his lappie that he would even consider canceling their dates for.
During the fifth date he realizes that she wants him to quit smoking and drinking. And she realizes he wants her to start being socially active.
During the sixth date he realizes that her family is Keen to get married to him immediately. And she realizes his family has already fixed up the date of marriage.
—————- Marriage Takes Place ————————
After 1 week into marriage he realizes she’s not even Mamta kulkarni – forget Rani. And she realizes that he’s salman khan without fitness.
Yet…Yet…After 1 month he & she realizes she’s expecting. But how ?? (What ever happened to not till 3 yrs)
After 1 year, they realize they are three – Not two anymore.
Yet…They complete silver, golden Jubilees together as a happily married & settled couple. People around call it the perfect marriage and term them “made-for-each-other”
The only question I am left with is, Are they REALLY happy???
“Someone once quoted when it’s about spouse ... sumwere deep inside u knw u have to love this person”. Why can’t we have relations outta free-will ??
To the brave life is all about Choices, to the not so brave Life is all about “Compromise”!
To each his own!!
PS: VJ Thank u for letting me borrow the Skeleton, Goofy thank you for the help ;) .
2 comments:
Am a gujju suffering the pain of going through proposals of arrange marriage! N i say I have just met Mamma's boys till date who are big fattus!
I knw Wat u mean :), Dont worry thou its like finding a needle in the haystack. You will find your needle eventually - hang in there.Wishing u all the luck !
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